|
자신없는 부분만 긁어왔는데 붙여넣기 하니까 깨지네요...
어휘력이 Too 콩글리쉬인거같아서 부탁드립니다!.
EDUCATION
Hungry UNIVERSITY Seoul, South Korea Mar. 2012 - Present
Candidate for Bachelor of Arts in Department of Global Commerce (GPA: 3.11/ 4.5)
l “Re Born” Study group manager Sep. 2016 – Dec. 2016
Education interrupted due to military service Dec. 2013 - Sept. 2015
l Served as a squad leader for 1 year
l Discharged from 3rd Army Headquarters,
Hungry HIGH SCHOOL Mar. 2009 – Feb. 2011
l Participated in "Samulnori" club (Korean traditional instrument band)
EXPERIENCE (감정을 좀 더 집어 넣고 싶은데 뭔가 어색한거 같아요)
NIKE SPORTS Jul.2013 - Dec.2012
Staff
l Attracted(다른 단어?!) customers by setting up an eye-catching display of the store’s merchandise
l Figured out customers’ needs and recommended the best product that fit their taste
l Contributed on sales increase and gained recognition on abilities,
these led to a 10% pay raise
CGV THEATER Aug. 2012 - Oct. 2012
Staff
l Provided information on ways to get a discount
l Helped customers purchase their tickets at the che에이pest price
Hungry RESORT Dec. 2009 – Mar. 2012
X-game snow park team crew
l Recruited as team member who recorded the youngest age in Korea
l Taught and Trained intermediate - expert snowboarders
l Made and Looked after jump stand
CERTIFICATE
Driver’s license (Class C) 외국에서 면허증을 이렇게 표기하던데 괜찮나요?
Motorbike license (Class D)
Microsoft Office Specialist license
AWARDS
l Earned TOEIC Scholarship (Grade improvement)
experience 부분은 skills and experience 으로 바꾸어 각각의 일자리에서 배운/쓴 스킬들도 나열하면 좋습니다.
Attracted(다른 단어?!) customers by setting up an eye-catching display of the store’s merchandise
- Drew in customers / Increased traffic of potential customers는 어떤가요?
Figured out customers’ needs and recommended the best product that fit their taste
- Used great listening skills to learn of the customers' needs 가 좀더 formal한 느낌을 줄듯..
Contributed on sales increase and gained recognition on abilities,
- Contributed on sales increase and gained recognition of excellent sales skills/abilities더 좋을듯
these led to a 10% pay raise - 리더의 입장에서 볼때이것이 위의 나열된 이유들때문에 받은건지 아니면 다른이유 (대부분의 회사/샵에선 정해진 기간동안 일하면 오토매틱으로 페이 리뷰와 raise를 받을수 있음)
그리고 이부분의 날짜가 잘못 표기된듯
Provided information on ways to get a discount
Helped customers purchase their tickets at the chea/pest price
위의 두문장은 거의 똑같은 뜻... 아예
Provided quality customer service by outlining information on discount methods
Was responsible for store cleaning and food preparation (만약 음식준비일도 했다면)
이 나을듯
H
lRecruited as team member who recorded the youngest age in Korea
- recruited as a team member who was, at the time, recorded as the youngest age at recruitment in Korea
l Taught and Trained intermediate - expert snowboarders
- ...intermediate to expert level snowboarders
l Made and Looked after jump stand
- Constructed and maintained the jump stand
Driver's licence맞구요
scholarship 은 몇년도에 받았는지 표기하는것도 도움이 될듯
저도 요즘 새 직장 구한다고 이력서 쓰고 고치고 있는데 일구하기 힘드네요.. ㅠㅠ